If Time is Money, Then Living 24/6 May Be Priceless.

Posted on by under Books, Parenting, Reading

I recently read 24/6 The Power of Unplugging One Day A Week by Tiffany Shlain and in response, I simply have to try the one-day-a-week unplug that she touts so highly. I’m 100% ready to say NO to screens, no to cell phones, no to digital technology, no to social media, no to google maps, no to texts, no to emails etc. for one full day each week… AND… YES to records, yes to CDs, yes to real paper books, yes to getting outdoors, yes to cooking at home, yes to bike riding, yes to overlooked hobbies, yes to spending time being 100% present and engaged with the people I love who are right in front of me.

In the opening of the book, Shlain traces the roots of the concept of a day of rest starting with the 4th of the 10 commandments (“remember the Sabbath day to keep it holy”) and then moves through history to the Industrial Revolution and the labor unions’ struggles to create rest through their fight for the 40-hour week. For me, this desire to have a day focused on elevating rest and savoring time off (be it off from work, technology, phones, screens, etc.) stems from my understanding of what it means to be successful in life: To me, success is getting to decide how I spend my time. I think that Shlain would agree with this idea as she quotes the Unitarian minister Ana Levy-Lyons who writes,

“…this is where Heschel  and Karl Marx overlap: ‘time is the ultimate form of human wealth on this earth. Without time, all other forms of wealth are meaningless. It is this insight about time– patently obvious but frequently forgotten– that makes keeping a Sabbath day both spiritually profound and politically radical. To reclaim time is to be rich.” (Ana Levy-Lyons, “Sabbath Practice as Political Resistance: Building the Religious Counterculture,” Tikkun 27, no. 5 (2012): 16-67.

Shlain calls this 24/6 practice her and her family’s “tech Shabbat” as they kick off their 24 hours of unplugging tying into their Jewish custom of Friday night Shabbat dinner. Her family has been doing this for more than 10 years and her teenage daughters have come to love and look forward to Friday nights and the following tech-free Saturday. The tech-ban doesn’t extend to all technology, as one might expect in an Orthodox Jewish community. Instead, her family is focused on a digital, plugged-in, on-line, connected to work and social networks, screen ban. With these 24 hours off from technology and screens, she finds:

More presence, more appreciating, more compassion, more laughing, more dancing, more making… more eye contact, more hugs, more daydreaming, more silence, more eating together at the table, more reading, more journaling, more taking a beat, more thinking in slow motion, more rituals, more nature, more getting lost, more rest and digest, more tend and befriend, more empathy, more joy, more authentic connecting, more looking up, more love.”

Doesn’t that just sound like bliss?

Let’s do it!

In preparing for my own personal version of living 24/6, Shlain encourages me to think about the following:

“What brings you joy? Think about all the (screen-free) activities you enjoy doing that you just don’t do enough.”

Here are some of my thoughts:

It brings me joy to spend time…

  • with my kids
  • with my husband
  • learning
  • going to lectures, museums, libraries
  • at church with my family
  • riding bikes around town
  • hiking at local State Parks
  • playing frisbee golf at local courses
  • reading
  • going to the farmers market
  • having a picnic
  • playing piano
  • listening to records & my collection of CDs
  • writing letters
  • exploring parts of our town (surrounding towns, CLT) that we don’t frequent or know especially well
  • napping
  • volunteering
  • walking the dog
  • starting a book club
  • taking exercise classes
  • playing board games
  • doing puzzles
  • keeping gratitude journal
  • writing
  • outside in nature
  • watching my kids play at the park
  • eating good food
  • drinking bubbly water and/or having a drink with my husband and/or friends
  • laughing with my friends
  • traveling to places I love and/or new places I’ve never been

“Consider your own tradition or history. What foods or practices from your childhood, family, faith, or culture would make the day more meaningful for you?”

Here are some of my thoughts:

  • We do a Friday night pizza and movie night which is a tradition I’d like to keep. So probably Friday night won’t be our starting point our tech-turn-off 24 hours.
  • We prioritize dinner together not only with our family of four but also with my mom and grandma one night a week and my husband’s mom and dad one night a week.
  • We don’t have a hard and fast rule of no phones at dinner, but that’s an easy one to implement.

“Consider your intentions. What qualities do you want to develop? Empathy, patience, creativity, curiosity, self-control, humor, optimism, gratitude? What habits do you want to break? How do you want to feel when the day is over?”

Here are my thoughts:

  • I want to spend more time together with my family, not next to my family with our minds (often mindlessly) engaged in other things.
  • I want to laugh more… I don’t laugh a lot looking at my phone.
  • I want to be more patient and kind with my children in times of stress.
  • I want to enjoy the beautiful NC weather in all seasons.
  • I want to connect through writing (letters, postcards, thank-you notes) and less through text and posts.
  • I want to have increased self-control and not look at my phone just because I have a moment of boredom and that is a knee-jerk reaction bad habit.

“Identify your barriers. What are your (or your partner’s or kids’) habits around screens that you most struggle with? What’s going to be the hardest part about giving up screens for a full day? What, if anything, do you fear will happen (or not happen)? Are you ready for this?”

Here are some of mine:

  • Checking the phone first thing in the morning.
  • Checking the phone as a default any time you are waiting or not doing something else.
  • Watching TV routinely as a default in the evening.
  • Too much purposeless time on social media.
  • Bringing a laptop or smartphone into bed.
  • Morning TV watching for kids so I can get ALL THE MORNING THINGS done.
  • I LOVE all the library apps on my phone and find reading digitally has become much easier than reading paper books.
  • Looking at my phone the last thing at night (usually reading).

“Check in on your current screen use and time online. How many screens do you have in your house? How often do you think you’re on at least one screen every day? Every week? Consider actually tracking your screen time, either with an app, on a spreadsheet, or through non-digital means. What aspects of your screen use worry you? When is the first time you check your phone in the morning? What is the longest amount of time you can remember being away from at least one screen? When was the last time you went a whole day without screens?”

Here’s what my data reveals:

  • I use Instagram too much.
  • I read a lot on my phone.
  • We want to use our bedroom TV less or at least purposefully and strategically and not just out of habit and routine. I don’t want TVs in my kids’ room EVER. My mom was that mom, and I am too, apparently.

“Focus on the bigger picture. How is unplugging regularly good for society? How can you be part of this process? How has your concept of ‘rest’ changed throughout your life? Is it something that you want more or less than you used to? Think about how you want to be remembered, and start living that life.”

“How to prepare. A little thinking ahead will help you get more out of the day.” Do you need to print out a schedule for the day so you don’t have to access your Google calendar? Do you need to set an email away message for work? Have key phone numbers posted by your landline so you don’t have to access your iPhone contacts list? Do you need to have a landline installed?

Here are my thoughts:

  • Maybe we need a landline. My husband and I have talked about this before but from the perspective of delaying the pressure of giving our kids cell phones but allowing them a way to be in touch with friends— after teaching high school for 12 years I completely acknowledge how antiquated this sounds. Despite my previous interest, I am hesitant to go the direction of installing a landline before making this Tech Shabbat a personal and family habit first. Feels like we need the horse and the cart in the right order.
  • I want to make a list of important phone numbers for the fridge anyway for the boys and our babysitters. Now I have added motivation.
  • I have a weekly paper calendar that I use to try to list my top 3-5 goals for the day. I can utilize this to keep a rough sketch for whatever we choose for our unplugged day.
  • I’m unlikely to give up using Google Calendar as the main hub for how I keep track of our schedule and my reminders– it’s just too handy and doesn’t suck that much technology time (tracking my screen usage confirms this)
  • I might delete the Instagram app. That does suck too much technology time (and tracking my screen usage confirms this, too. Ugggh. So basic.)

“Plan your first Tech Shabbat. Look at your calendar and determine what weekend day (or weekday) you’re going to start. Mark down several weeks in a row. The power and beauty of this practice come with its regularity. in time you will look forward to it each week. Look at the list of things you want to do more of. Plan to fill your screen-free day with activities from that list. You can even print the list, post it on your fridge, and reference it throughout the day. Or fill the day with doing nothing, if that’s what you need and want. Invite anyone you want to join you for a meal, an activity, or the whole day. Print out phone numbers (key friends, family, and emergency numbers) or other important information you may typically look up on your phone. Pring any maps you may need to travel to a new place. Get a landline. you can get one for as little as $20/month. Tell people in your life (family, friends, coworkers, boss) you’re planning to do this. Don’t come from a place of apology, but a place of strength and excitement. If they express concern or curiosity, invite them to a Tech Shabbat dinner so they can experience it with you.”

Here’s my thoughts:

  • Saturday morning- Sunday morning?
  • Saturday morning no cartoons, yes breakfast and library/farmers market/parks/greenways/museums/etc
  • Saturday afternoons reading/boardgames/yardwork/playdates/etc.
  • Saturday evening includes a special dinner with candles and guests optional

“Reflect on your first Tech Shabbat and make adjustments. What was your experience like? How did it feel? Did you notice any physical, emotional, or mental changes? What were they? What worked for you? What was the hardest part? What was the best part? What, if anything, surprised you? What would you change next time? Is there anyone else you want to bring along next time? How will you use screens differently this week?

To keep these 24/1 unplugged benefits going through the other 24/6 tech-filled days, Shlain encourages us to think about

  • “Screen useEstablish guidelines for when/where screens can be used.
    • Put a small notebook in your bag with a pen you love. This way you don’t have to pull out your phone if you want to jot something down.
    • Use the feature on your phone to set limits on your screen/social media use
    • Set a text auto-response from your phone when you’re offline to let people. know you’re unavailable. for example: “I have my phone off to rebalance my mind. I will write to you when I’m back refreshed.”
    • Set aside time each day to let your mind wander: while taking a shower, doing dishes, walking, exercising. try not to fill those time with talking on the phone or listening to podcasts.
    • Wait until 8th to get kids a smartphone. If your kid needs one before then, consider a simpler model with no or limited internet.
    • Check out smartphone contracts by Janell Burley Hofmann or Dr. Delaney Ruston.
    • Revisit contract every 6 months or as new developments, needs, interests arise
  • Rest, Silence, and StillnessGet an old-fashioned alarm block for your room so you don’t use your phone to wake up.
    • Don’t look at screens for at least 30 minutes after you wake up. Try journaling instead.
    • Establish periods of quiet rest throughout the say– leave your phone behind and go for a walk, write in a journal instead of scrolling your phone. Create space for your mind to wander. two hours a day of silence is recommended.
    • Make a list of your favorite places in nature that are close that you want to visit more often. Go.
    • Go somewhere without Wi-Fi for the day or longer.
    • Don’t let screens be the last thing you do before you sleep. The blue light can interfere with sleep onset. Read a book or magazine instead.
  • Exits and EntrancesStart paying attention to what you’re doing when you arrive or leave a space.
    • Finish calls before you enter a room.
    • Try the thirty-second hug.
    • Try the ten-second doorknob countdown
    • Before texting someone (during the workday in particular), remember it takes twenty-three minutes to return focus after each interruption. Could this be addressed later?
    • With kids, practice “the entrance” of how to answer the landline: “Hello, XY residence.”
  • Empathy and Eye ContactMake eye contact and say hello, good morning, etc. to five new people every day.
    • Get to know the names of people you interact with regularly but whose name you may not know– at work, at your favorite cafe, at the gym, at the library, at school drop-off or pick-up.
    • Forgive someone.
    • Give people the benefit of the doubt.
    • Write a list of people you would like to get to know better and why. Invite them to your next Tech Shabbat meal.
  • Social Media UseTurn off all social media and app notifications on your phone so it’s not constantly asking for your attention. You choose when to check-in.
    • Adopt a social media strategy. Ask yourself, Why am I on social media right now? Is it for work or for school? For news? It is to connect with family and friends? Who am I following and why? Remember, your feeds are shaping your thoughts and mind.
    • Take a beat before posting. Is what you’re about to post authentic? Is this something you want to broadcast to everyone who follows you? Is this information best-communicated face-to-face with close friends and family, or on a call, or in an email or text?
    • Take a social media sabbatical. Taking an occasional week off can be great for your schedule as well as your soul. Take stock of how you feel afterward.
  • GratitudeKeep stack of thank-you notes and stamps in your bag so you can write and send one any time you think about it.
    • Write a letter of appreciation and send it to a friend, teacher, or mentor.
    • Keep a gratitude notepad with you so you can reach for that instead of your phone when you are waiting somewhere.
    • Start The Five-Minute Journal or an appreciation journal.
    • If you have a hard time going to sleep at night, think of three things you are grateful for when you close your eyes.”

 

Time to set a date and give it a try.

Time to disconnect in order to reconnect. I want to do this for ME and for MY FAMILY in equal measure.

The time is NOW to set up habits and patterns as a family.

Time to prioritize how I spend my time and how we spend time together.

After all, “to reclaim time is to be rich.” (Ana Levy-Lyons)

So, let’s DO THIS!

 

 

 

 

Other resources to explore in this journey:

 

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