If you don’t count kid’s books, I haven’t read a book that came from a bookshelf in our house in I don’t even know how long, and, yet, when trying to clear out my bookshelves and my nightstand today I am plagued by hesitation and indecision. It’s an odd sensation for me.
I’m concerned. I might be a book hoarder. The evidence is mounting.
I don’t want to dwell on this, but I suppose I should also mention the large Tupperware plastic storage bin of books from my undergraduate and graduate Spanish studies that I put into our attic in June when I cleaned out my classroom. I have no idea why I put them there, but I simply was not going to give them away just yet… or, maybe, ever. I know, that’s crazy talk! Given that I have no plans to read them anytime soon, I can tell you it was, again, an odd sensation for me to not be able to purge something I am not using nor do I have any plans to use in any foreseeable future. It’s certainly helpful that the box of books isn’t staring me in the face daily reminding me that I’m not reading them, but the fact that they are stored away in a place where I cannot see them nor pick them up easily and read them makes it even more ridiculous that I kept them. For now, I’m going to push that image back into the attic of my mind where I can’t see it but I certainly know it’s still there.
All of this is both hilarious and perplexing to me. Especially if you consider my apparent book-hoarding ways in light of the fact that almost 100% of the books that I have read in the last two years have been digital audiobooks or digital library loans read via the Kindle App on my iPhone. It seems the only good news with my apparent book-hoarding ways is that I’m not sure the last time I bought an actual, hold-in-your-hands book— reminder, not counting kid’s books 🙂 So, at least, I’m not adding to my hoard.
Now, back to today’s trouble: Marie Kondo-ing the books on the shelves I can see on a daily basis and am still not choosing to read. I have spent copious amounts of time looking at the Charlotte-Mecklenburg library catalog via their mobile App and the Overdrive App. I am well aware of the fact that many of the books sitting on my shelves can also be found free of charge — well free of any other charge than what I already contribute in taxes– on both the literal and digital shelves of the Charlotte-Mecklenburg Library. Then, why can’t I purge them off my shelves?
Just to name a few titles as I look up to the shelf above the desk where I sit typing this. Books such as:
- Frankenstein
- Fahrenheit 451
- To Kill A Mockingbird
- The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn
- Of Mice And Men
- The Catcher in the Rye
- Withering Heights
- The Great Gatsby
- 1984
The best I can tell, there must be some strong connection for me between books and memory. When I look at The Great Gatsby or The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, for example, I have wonderful, vivid memories of sitting in class in my green and white plaid Hockaday skirt and saddle shoes reading aloud with my peers in English class during high school. Or when I see Fahrenheit 451 I think of the play adaptation I saw at Davidson. That play was so impactful that I ended up reading the book various times throughout that year to reprocess and enjoy again what I had seen on stage.
The strong tie between books and memories is most certainly a factor in why I have that storage tub of books collecting dust in the attic. However, I think there is something else that is causing this hoarding tendency in my normally purging personality. Simply stated, I think it’s the connection between books and shared experiences with others. I pull a book off the shelf above me to add it to my purge box below and after I enjoy and process the memory– I recognize the object itself is not the memory. The memory is mine and will stay with me even if I choose not to keep the physical item– I still don’t want to add it to the box. When I stop to ask myself “why?” the next question invariably connects the book to someone else. I usually have a thought something along the lines of:
- “Oh, I should give this book to ___(fill in blank name)___. I wonder if she/he has read it.”
- “Oh, I will keep this one because one day I hope ___(insert either of my kids’ names)__ will enjoy it as much as I did.”
- “Oh, I don’t want to get rid of all of our books. We want our house to be filled with books we read and share as a family.”
To me, all of these thoughts are great reasons to have and keep books. These lines of thinking show, for me, it’s true that books are best when shared in community with others. However, if I’m not actually using the books, do we actually need them? And if they’re just collecting dust on my shelves, are they actually being shared? Isn’t building community and the sharing of books what a town/city library is all about?
Therefore, due to my commitment to use the things I own, to “rehome” the things that I don’t, and because of my love for books and how I believe that they are meant to be shared in community with others, I will begin purging the books from my shelves.
In true Marie Kondo fashion, I will begin with the easy, low-hanging fruit. There are definitely books sitting on those shelves that do not “spark joy” for me and I doubt I will not pick them up to read again nor do I have plans to share them with anyone else specifically. And so, my shockingly difficult book-purging struggle begins now with these titles in hopes that I will gain momentum to purge some of the titles more intimately tied to both my memories and my hopes for shared interactions with my sons in the future. Again, those titles will always be available at the library one day– or even on some digital device, we haven’t even conceived of yet.
Here is where I started the purge:
- Ignorance is NO Defense by J. Tom Morgan & Wilson Parker
- Fodor’s Arizona & The Grand Canyon 2010
- A Woman by God’s Grace by Anna Mary Byler
- Women Who Move Mountains: praying with confidence, boldness, and grace by Sue Detweiler
- Mindfulness: A Practical Guide by Tessa Watt
I had a couple more titles pulled from the shelf but my husband spoke up saying he wanted to read that title soon. Again I heard those mantras in my mind and, therefore, put them back on the bookshelf.
As I (hopefully) make more progress, I’ll update and add more to the list. I’ll either donate books to Habitat– my grandma loves to buy her books there because then she doesn’t feel the “deadline pressure” from the library– or I’ll leave them at our little library down the street.
La Principiante 