It’s confirmed. I’m an Eight, The Challenger. In fact, I’m an 8 wing 7 known as, The Maverick. From the book The Road Back to You:
“This can be a wild combination. Eights with a Seven wing are outgoing, energetic, and fun, reflecting the Seven’s sunny personality. They are also ambitious, impulsive, and sometimes reckless. These Eights live life to the fullest. They are the most energetic of all numbers and the most entrepreneurial. The Seven energy masks the more wary Eight so they are more social and gregarious than other Eights.”
In any group, the Eight is the leader, the powerful and dominating type. Self-confident, strong, assertive. We stand up for our rights and the rights of others. We are resourceful, passionate with a can-do attitude and a strong inner drive. We take the initiative and make things happen. We champion other people, protect them, and carry others with our strength.
When I stress out I take on qualities of an unhealthy 5 (The Investigator): withdrawn, even less connected to my emotions, hyper vigilant about betrayal, dig my heels in, become even more uncompromising– sounds like I’m great company when stressed, no?
I had previously taken the Enneagram and was just getting into the depths of it all when we took the Enneagram for our Sunday School Connections class with the goal of getting to know each other in the class better. I also hope we’ll dig into how knowing ourselves and each other better in our marriages will help us be better parents to our kids– a key theme of our Connections class.
When I’m secure, I move to the healthy side of Two’s characteristics: I become more caring. I’m not so conscious of hiding my tender side. I am open to listen to and value other’s points of view.
My husband is a Two, The Helper. Twos are empathetic, sincere, warm-hearted, and have an extraordinary ability to feel the feelings and needs of others. They take joy in doing good from a pure heart. Twos are the most people-oriented of the Enneagram. This quote below could serve as a description of my husband at his best and is definitely one of the reasons that I fell in love with him:
“When Twos are healthy and in balance, they really are loving, helpful, generous, and considerate. People are drawn to them like bees to honey. Healthy Twos warm others in the glow of their hearts.”
He makes me feel loved and cared for which lets me let down my hard-hearted 8 defenses.
I look forward to discussing more with him about how Twos and Eights work well in symphony together– as well as analyzing when and how our collaboration breaks down.
From the Enneagram Institute, a key lynchpin to our success is that we seem to be the yin to the other’s yang.
“They easily play roles that the other needs and wants: the Eight is practical and concerned with results, whereas Twos are more people-oriented and more openly altruistic. They are both strong willed and like taking on responsibility, as long as they choose it themselves… Both see each other’s noble qualities and can be each other’s staunchest supporters and admirers. Their roles are also clearly delineated, so they do not get in each other’s way. Each runs different spheres of their lives and cover different bases (one plays the symbolic Mommy the other the symbolic Daddy and things are clear and balanced). These qualities make this couple powerful allies who complement each other’s strengths, particularly the good effects they can have on others.”
So, to sum up… it looks like I really did marry my better half. I better hang on for dear life, make sure he feels fully appreciated and deeply loved– something I certainly think about and feel for him but, as an Eight, it’s not always in my nature to articulate.
TQM.
La Principiante 